1. |
Life in Shorthand
03:06
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Ladies and gentlemen look what the cat’s dragged in
Another song about love, oh no no not this time
This time I’m singing about absolutely nothing
Or as I like to say in shorthand, my life.
The sun on my face feels so good
What’s the point of getting up and going to school
Running away from the sun light that’ll be waking you up in bed
To go to a class where the teacher’s bald spot is reflecting off his head.
Oh no no no,
And I don’t want that at all
And I don’t need that at all
But I’ve got no choice at all
Cause in shorthand that’s my life.
Ladies and Gentlemen, please turn to page one oh nine
And learn about things that won’t blow your mind
So I look around me for the class skank
And try to picture her with a thirty year old named Frank
The girl comes home to find a cluttered apartment
Frank’s just sitting on the couch, drunk of his ass
He doesn’t care a lick about her, and he’s only there for the ass
So why, does she still come home to him
Cause all she wants is a little love from men
Oh no no no,
And she doesn’t like it at all
and it’s sad cause it’s not her fault
But she’s got no choice at all
Cause in shorthand that’s her life
Ladies and Gentlemen, looks like I’m talking bout love again
I guess that’s the way it goes, that’s who I am
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2. |
The Time Traveler's Wife
04:23
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There’s a million guys who would treat her right
But none of them she’ll want to stay the night
She knows why she’s waiting
She knows who she’s waiting for
He leaves and goes without a sound
She’ll wait for him to come around
But she knows why she waiting
And she knows who she’s waiting for
And it’s bittersweet every time they meet
Cause it won’t last for long
Before she knows it
He will be long gone
She’ll set a place for him at the table
And address her letters with Mr. and Mrs. Labels
She knows to be strong from him
She knows how it all began
Oh she waits
Sometimes hours even days
But when he comes back
She knows it was worth every minute
And it’s bittersweet every time they meet
Cause he can’t stay for long
Before she knows it
He will be long gone
The Time Traveler’s Wife
A less than ideal life
But if you were her
You know you’d be right
Baby I’m coming back home as soon as I can
Don’t worry cause everything’s gonna be alright
Baby I’m coming back home as soon as I can
I’ll make it up to you in any time that I can
Some may call her crazy
But who are they to judge
Cause she’s in love
And that’s who she’s waiting for
And it’s bittersweet every time they meet
Cause he can’t stay for long
Before she knows it
He will be long gone
The Time Traveler’s Wife
A less than ideal life
But if you were her
You know you’d be right
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3. |
Umbrella For Two
03:13
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The world’s so wet so cold out there, pouring on everyone
Blankets of rain blur clarity, emotions and the sun
But there’s one place, with which you’ll find
A blanket, a base, a solace
Walk with me, through the weather, under my umbrella
Oh, just kiss me under this rain
Let our heartbeats overpower the
Pitter patter of the drops on the ground
I’m starting to love the gentle beat of that sound
Oh, just stay with me under this rain
Let our emotions run wild in the
Sheets of love that surround our bodies
There’s only room for the rain, you and me
Come under my umbrella baby,
I don’t want you to catch a cold
Though there’s not enough room for two
Where’s the fun if it’s only one?
I’ll hold the handle while you fish through your purse
Didn’t mean to bump you so sorry did that hurt?
I get so clumsy when you’re this close to me
That I forget that we’re surrounded by rain
Oh, just kiss me under this rain
Let our eyes lock fast in the
Pitter patter of the drops on the ground
I’m starting to love the gentle beat of that sound
Oh, just hide with me away from the rain
We may be cold, damp, and wet but at least
We have each other and a tiny umbrella
That we’ve turned into an umbrella for two
The rain has finally stopped
And neither of us try to move the umbrella
Gone is the intoxicate veil
But our love still pours all over our hearts
Come under my umbrella baby,
I don’t want you to catch a cold
Though there’s not enough room for two
Where’s the fun if it’s only one?
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4. |
Naked
03:17
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Doesn’t it feel like you’re trapped in slow motion?
When everyone around you is having so much more fun
Why do things always have to change?
When I’m so ready for more of the same
Not Like I’m asking for everything to just stop
But when you summit and hit the very top
Why on earth would you want to come back to Earth?
When life on the ground seems so much worse?
And I feel so Naked
I’m feeling so naked
Do you remember all the, times we spent together?
The days were long, the nights were young, or so it seemed
Why do things always have to change?
When I’m so ready for more of the same
Not Like I’m asking for everything to just stop
But when you summit and hit the very top
Why on earth would you want to come back to earth?
When life on the ground seems so much worse
Everything was kosher
So sure
For sure
Can I stay on the shore?
At your door
Maybe indoors
Can we lay on your bed
Not worry
about what they said
Maybe watch some TV
Who knows?
We’ll see
Close your window
Cause the winds of change are blowing
And I’m so naked.
And I feel so Naked
Naked, naked, I don’t want to see George Bush naked.
Naked and alone
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5. |
Unfamiliar Territory
03:46
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She’s already made her choice
There’s nothing you can do about it
But say goodbye,
Hold your head up high
Of course you want to make her stay
Though you respect her more than that
Don’t make a scene
Wake up from the girl of your dreams
I can’t help it, it’s over
But I’m under water
In the sea of your love
I try my best to hide it
But sometimes I
Get so mixed up
Remembering who we were
I’ll always be strong for you
In spite of everything we’ve been through
Unfamiliar territory
No one knows you, and what’s your story
Start over
Start over
I’m a boy who likes to laugh
You’re a girl who loves to smile
What’s your name?
What’s your name?
I can’t help it, it’s over
But I’m under water
In the sea of your love
I try my best to hide it
But sometimes I
Get so mixed up
Remembering who we are
I’ll always be strong for you
In spite of everything we’ve been through
Seems so funny that I’d care this way
But I don’t know what I’m doing
And I gotta keep on moving through
Unfamiliar territory
No one knows you, and what’s your story
Start fresh, on a clean slate
See that cute girl,
Why not ask her on a date
I can’t help it, it’s over
But I’m under water
In the sea of your love
I try my best to hide it
But sometimes I
Get so mixed up
Remembering who we were
I’ll always be strong for you
In spite of everything we’ve been through
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6. |
Forget My Name
04:21
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I know that you were good for me
Did you know that I was good for you?
Bet you don’t even remember my name
I danced and glanced but to you it was all the same
Lady, Lady how could you forget my name
Lady, Lady how could you forget me so fast
I was cool I was charming, I was funny I was rad
You were sweet, and petite, and had my moves down flat
Lady, Lady you’ll never meet anyone like me
Maybe Maybe I was barking up the wrong tree
Across the room I see her dancing there
I try my best not to open my mouth and stare
But her style is so poetic
So I’d better show her I’m un-pathetic
I slick my hair back, roll up my sleeves
I need a joke that’ll make her, roll on her knees
I take a breath, try to sane my brain
I’m gonna make her remember my name
Chorus
I worked the room accidentally finding her
We shot the breeze and I asked her if she was hot
She looked at me with a slightly puzzled face
Until I told her I was talking ‘bout the heat in the place
Looking back I can’t believe I said that
I thought it sounded so suave in my head
So I sheepishly made my exit
And laughed all the way to my bed
Lady, Lady it’s no wonder you forgot my name
Lady, Lady if I were you I’d forget me too
But I was cool, I was funny, I was charming I was rad
You were sweet, and petite, and had my moves down flat
Lady, Lady you’ll never meet anyone like me
Maybe Maybe I was barking up the wrong tree
Lady, Lady, I just remembered I forgot your name
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7. |
Plain Jane
02:32
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I don’t care if people look at me strange
Cause I never bothered with the dull or plain Jane
People never can decide what they want
They’d rather eat the tired boring sack lunch
But oh oh, oh no no
Oh oh, oh no no,
Look where I am now?
Sitting in the same plane
With the same old plain jane
Well, I remember when I used to shoot breeze
Skipping down the road and trying to climb up trees
Now I’m cramming trying to avoid Cs
Contemplating the pros of pilates
But oh oh, oh no no
Oh oh, oh no,
Look where I am now?
Sitting in the same plane
With the same old plain jane
I don’t care if I’m an irrational
I don’t care if you think I’m irrational
I don’t care if I’m an irrational, Fool
I don’t care if you think I’m silly
I don’t care if you think that I’m so wrong
I don’t care if I’m an irrational, Fool
Take the trees and take the sky and
Put them back where they belong and
Back the way they used to be was
So divine
And that’s when I felt so fine
So let’s think back on all the times we felt glee
So happy that we could hardly breathe
Try those things and also try some things new
Who knows maybe Jane will try some things with you
But oh oh, oh no no
Oh oh, oh no no,
Look where I am now?
Jumping out the same plane
With the crazy old Jane
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8. |
Something to Behold
03:45
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There’s a couple walking hand in hand
The girl is laughing while the boy is kicking sand
And as the tide rolls in they let the waves crash over them
It’s like they’re all alone by the way they’re kissing again and again
It’s something to behold
The girl is tired so she jumps on the boy’s back
The weight is too much but the boy just lets it pass
He’ll take her anywhere she wants to go
Even if it pains him he won’t let her know
It’s something to behold
But this isn’t a one sided story
The girl’s in as much love as the boy is
She likes to dream but is too scared to tell him
That one day she wants to be the mother of his children
So they continue on their nightly stroll
Unaware of the love that they both share
Oh god I wish that were me
There’s a girl sitting on a pier alone
Her makeup’s running she hangs up her phone
If she were mine I’d never make her cry
I’d sit her down each day, take her hands and let her know
That she is lovely, she is gorgeous, with a smile you’ve got to notice
Amazing, almost too much, for a man to hold a light to
You’re something to behold
And now I’m sitting on the beach all by myself
But it’s alright cause at least I still have my health
And I know that it won’t be far too long until I find my next romance
It’s gonna be epic, gonna be magic, just like the old one
It’ll be something to behold.
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9. |
Generic Love Song
02:42
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This is a generic love song
Fill in the blanks for whatever girl rolls along
Blank I love you
Blank I need you
And blank, you’re the only one who makes me feel this way
This is a generic love song
Good for getting a girl, down to her thong
Look I can sing and play the guitar
But honestly this isn’t very hard
This is the part where you get on your knees
And tell her, baby please, oh we were meant to be
Blank, spend your life with me
Oh Blank, your hair is beautiful
And Oh blank, your smile is wonderful
I just want to blank you
I just want to blank you
I want to spend my mother blanking life with you
This is a generic love song
Fill in the blanks for whatever girl rolls along
Blank I love you
Blank I need you
And blank, you’re the only one who makes me feel this way
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10. |
Pillow of Dreams
03:46
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Kiss me softly tonight
You can kiss me crazy, some other night
But for now all I want is for
You and me, and a pillow of dreams
I could go on and on about how lovely you are
But I’m sure a million boys have let you know
That when you laugh in your sleep, it’s just like heaven
And when I hear your voice, I feel like
Melting into your arms
But then I wake up
And I realize I never said any of that to you
But it still stands
That I want it slow, I want it romantic
So, Kiss me softly tonight
You can kiss me crazy, some other night
But for now all I want is for
You and me, to share a pillow of dreams
Why can’t I get her out of my head
Instead of being caught in this scarlet web
Come on heart and soul stay with the team
And stop having her kiss me in my dreams
But then I wake up
And I realize I never said any of that to you
But it still stands
That I want it slow, I want it romantic
I’m falling backwards and I need a hand
It’s getting harder just to stick to the plan
And I know, that counting the days until I see her again
Is not a healthy way of just staying friends.
So, Kiss me softly tonight
You can kiss me crazy, some other night
But for now all I want is for
You and me, to share a pillow of dreams
But then I wake up
And I realize I never said any of that to you
But it still stands
That I want it slow, I want you
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11. |
Love's a B*tch
03:50
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All he ever wanted to do was
Make her laugh and make her smile
Though his intentions were circumspect
He claimed his actions were innocent
Everyday he’d buy her gifts and flowers
And write her notes, oh on the hour but no
She said no to him
I guess he wasn’t her prince charming
Who would fly her away
All she ever wanted to do was
Meet a man who would treat her right
It wouldn’t hurt if he looked like Clooney
Drove a fast car or made a lot of money
Like that jock who sits across the room
She bats her eyes but he never swoons
He’s too preoccupied with the blond coming in late
Oooh, love’s a bitch
That’s all that anyone can make of it
Cupid’s arrow always seems to miss
It’s any wonder why he hasn’t quit
Let’s get back to the blond that’s tardy
Oh well we all know that she likes to party
Thursday she likes to dress up
All the attention makes her girlfriends jealous
She swears to her friends that she hates the guy stares
But next week she’ll find something even less to wear
At this rate who’s really finding love
There’s got to be a pair who rose above
Who will tell me with conviction
With their hearts with their eyes with their soul that
Oooh, love’s a gift
That’s all that anyone can make of it
Cupid’s arrow never seems to miss
It’s more than both of us could ever wish
Oooh, love’s a bitch
But that’s just the way that I look at it
I hope when my next girl comes along
I will be singing you a different song
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12. |
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Long ago, I had two ladies that I selfishly played like pawns
On one hand there was Rhea, and the other girl, her name was Gone.
This feeling was tearing me apart
I should have known it would from the very start
Now I know to treat my ladies better
Rhea, I’m sorry, Gone baby I miss you
But the choice still stands
Gone or Rhea?
Gone or Rhea
Gone or Rhea
Is it Gone or is it Rhea?
Tell me, does it look like Gone or Rhea
Or does it smell like Gone or Rhea
My friends all tell me I should go see some doctors
That didn’t help, oh I still have this problem
My mom says Gone, Dad says wouldn’t want to be ya
Gone or Rhea
Oh it burns and it stings
And it’s painful
You’re in trouble this time
What an awful pair of tests
These things I have to go through
They’ll never end!
Gone or Rhea!
Gone or Rhea
Is it Gone or is it Rhea?
Tell me, does it look like Gone or Rhea
Or does it smell like Gone or Rhea
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Jenton Fremont
Jenton maintains a strong presence on YouTube, with 4500 subscribers, over 1.8 MILLION video views, and with viral hits like his 'Beyonce - If I Were a Boy' parody that has gotten over 200,000 hits on YouTube.
