1. |
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Everybody's trying to get slim
Ain't that the reason you're at this gym
You ain't gon get there eating like that
I got a better solution for the chubs
Just come with me now. Let's put down the Ho Ho
We'll start eating right and hit up Trader Joes
But if you relapse, then there's no one to blame
I can see you getting big, getting big
Overweight, I see flab all over me
Overweight, I can't see both of my feet
Overweight, I'll be catching my breath
Oh my weight, ain't going down
Oh my weight, ain't going down.
Yeah. Overweight, Oh noes
Some dudes know all the right things to eat
Whole grains and oats, fruits-a make me sick
Instead of talking lemme eat ice cream sundaes
Kit Kat and Twixes really make my day
Just leave with me now, screw that salad buffet
At Burger King, you can Have It Your Way
You'll see a side of skin you've never seen
I can see you getting big, getting big
Overweight, may cause diabetes
Overweight, need to buy 2 airplane seats
Overweight, I'll be sweating excessively,
Oh my weight, ain't going down
Oh my weight, ain't going down
Nom nom nom nom nom
Lemme have a Double Down and with extra che-ese
Nom nom nom nom nom
Gonna smell bad when it all comes out
Just eat with me now, healthy foods we'll ignore
We'll force our hearts to pump blood more and more
You'll feel a pain unlike you've ever known
I can see you going down, going down
Overweight, are you morbidly obese?
Overweight, which can lead to heart disease
Overweight, you'll be needing some health care
Omg, don't be a fatty, OMG , don't be a fatty
Overweight, no more fries from Mickey D's
Overweight, I ain't no girl's fantasy
Overweight, did you really just, eat that twinkie?
Oh my weight, ain't going down
Oh my weight, ain't going down just yet
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2. |
Asian Glow
03:00
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Bring another drink I’m feeling like a ho
I got that Asian glow I got that Asian glow
Pull up to the club and I’m feeling fine
Wanna switch it up gonna try some wine
Half a glass in and I’m feeling wheezy
Face is getting flushed and I’m getting queasy
Shock Top popped and I kill a bottle
I don’t recommend Whisky and Full Throttle
Few minutes in, I think, I’m feeling itchy
Try to tell my friends but they say I’m bitchy
Then I think back, but I’m slow to recall
Mom told me I’m allergic to alcohol
Red face, hives, difficulty grooving
Tomorrow morning I’ll be on the toilet pooping
He’s gonna get the Asian glow tonight
He’s gonna get the Asian glow tonight
(Gotta split, gotta shit, gotta lickety split
Too much liquor in me gives me liquidy shits)
If he takes Pepto, it might be alright
Or Otherwise, he’s gonna get the liquor shits tonight
Bring another drink I’m feeling like a ho
I got that Asian glow I got that Asian glow
I don’t really see the point of getting so shit-faced
You would understand if you were standing in my place
Have you almost ever taken a lady home?
But had to send her back to greet your porcelain throne?
Alright, I know what you’re thinking
Quit the whining and just stop the drinking
But let me tell you full disclosure,
A club’s no fun when you are sober
He’s gonna get the Asian glow tonight
He’s gonna get the Asian glow tonight
(Gotta split, gotta shit, gotta lickety split
Too much liquor in me gives me liquidy shits)
If he takes Pepcid, it might be alright
Or Otherwise, he’s gonna get the liquor shits tonight
You know it's hard to spit game, when you’re looking so lame, cause you’re as
Red as an apple, you look like an asshole.
You know it's hard to be cool, dropping kids at the pool, your face is
Looking like Rudolph, it’s kind of a turnoff
It’s the curse of the Asian
Bring another drink I’m feeling like a ho
I got that Asian glow I got that Asian glow
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3. |
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I know a place where the beach is really nasty
Dank, and dreary, they call it America’s armpit
Chugging jager bombs, talking ‘bout getting a new haircut
Boys lose their minds, trying to grind up on that club slut
You can find imitations
But nothing comes close to the Situation
Once you party with them
You’ll become a guido (got to love the Guido-ohs)
Jersey Shore Guidos, they’re unforgettable
Pauly D he loves his blowout
Sunkist Soda skin, looks just like Orange Glo (got to love Gudios, got to love the guidos)
Jersey Shore Guidos, they’re incorrigible
Macho men, but kind of Metro
Love this jam, let’s do the Guido Fist Pump (got to love Gudios, got to love the guidos)
Pose, puckered lips
Remember to point at the camera
And on, on your arm, a girl that kinda looks like Ke$ha
You can find imitations
But nothing comes close to the Situation
Once you party with them
You’ll become a guido (got to love the Guido-ohs)
Jersey Shore Guidos, they’re unforgettable
Snooki sleeps on a tanning bed
Sunkist Soda skin, looks just like Orange Glo (got to love Gudios, got to love the guidos)
Jersey Shore Guidos, they’re incorrigible
Macho men, but kind of Metro
Love this jam, let’s do the Guido Fist Pump (got to love Gudios, got to love the guidos)
Snoop
Spray tanned, toned and ready
Gel it up, just to make it sexy
Boob jobbed guidettes, these are the girls they try to get
They work their guns, but it ain’t just for fun
Tanaholics, love the sun (GET SOME)
Designer jeans, tight t-shirt fiend, never wanna wear sunscreen
Every day, no dismay, they’re on display, just like a big cliche
Guido Beach and AC, just a meathead’s best wet dream
Homeboys banging out, all that grease leaking out
Nicknaming, no shame in, manscaping, by day’s end, just some horny young man
Snookie my lady (yea?), lookie here baby (uh huh),
You kinda lack grace, but it’s messed some dude punched you in the face
Jersey Shore Guidos, they’re unforgettable
MTV you need to be shot
Sunkist Soda skin, looks just like Orange Glo (got to love Gudios, got to love the guidos)
Jersey Shore Guidos, they’re incorrigible
Macho men, but kind of Metro
Love this jam, let’s do the Guido Fist Pump (got to love Gudios, got to love the guidos)
New Jerseyyyyyy
Jersey Shoreeee
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4. |
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5. |
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6. |
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If I designed a public bathroom
It would be a pleasure to poo
I’d always have a hook to hang my coat
And the floors would never look like a moat
I'm a man who likes his peace
Plus I hate to see my neighbor's feet.
Woah I think I could make a
kickass bathroom
Have you ever been to the bathroom?
And when you got there, It seemed like
everybody else at work was there to go two, too
And there’s always that one stall that’s empty,
that you don’t really want to use But,
you don’t have much choice, cause you’re at about an 8.5 on the Poo Poo Panic scale
So you walk in reluctantly
Forgoing the protective sheet
Cause you know, once you put it down
You got roughly 5 seconds before it drowns
You line the seat with toilet paper
And wonder if talking on your phone while on the can is just human nature
Cause so many people seem to do it
It’s a little off putting
And kind of disgusting
And so, you sit down,
but you know, it’s not ideal
Cause you’ve got, groany McGroanerson on your left side
And Mr. Imina invade your personal space with my foot McGoo on your right.
But you persevere, maybe stick your fingers in your ears
Close your eyes, and imagine you’re in a magical meadow, where all you can smell are fresh daisies, and not that guy who sounds like he’s suffering from dysentery two stalls over.
If I designed a public bathroom
It would be a pleasure to poo
All the stall walls would touch the ground
And the room would absorb the sound
I'm a man who likes his peace
Plus I hate to see my neighbor's feet.
Woah I think I could make a
kickass bathroom
Now you’re almost at the home stretch
But you got another thing to check
Are your neighbors almost done as well?
If you leave together it’ll be awkward as hell
…what about metering lights?
If I designed a public bathroom
It would be a pleasure to poo
I’d make sure that there’d never be a gap
Between the stall door and the frame what’s up with that
I'm a man who likes his peace
Plus I hate to see my neighbor's feet.
Woah I think I could make a
kickass bathroom
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7. |
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Popping pimples on my face, like a pre-teen
When I don’t wash I break out, it’s a routine
Salicylic on my face, but it ain’t worth spit
Can’t go out until I finally pop my big zit
Got a big zit, got a big zit
No no no no Can’t go out until I finally pop my big zit
Got a big zit, got a big zit
No no no no Can’t go out until I finally pop my big zit
Gimmie that Pro-Pro Activ
Gimmie that Clear-a-sal sal
Ladies love my threads, but not my whiteheads
Get them needles ready, we gonna prep it to pop
Cause when we prick the skin you know that pus it won’t stop
(Pimple Cream) Oh god
Squeeze it more, squeeze-squeeze it more
You’ve got to squeeze it more until the pus is out the pore
Til’ the pus is out the pore, till the pus is out the pore
The pimple will be removed once the pus is out the pore.
Popping pimples on my face, like a pre-teen
When I don’t wash I break out, it’s a routine
Salicylic on my face, but it ain’t worth spit
Can’t go out until I finally pop my big zit
Got a big zit, got a big zit
No no no no Can’t go out until I finally pop my big zit
Got a big zit, got a big zit
No no no no Can’t go out until I finally pop my big zit
Thinking bout, thinking bout pills, Ima too scared to try
I read on the internet, it might lead to suicide
This is how I live, every single night
Popping pimples and whiteheads and then I watch ‘em die!
(Pimple Cream) Oh god
Squeeze it more, squeeze-squeeze it more
You’ve got to squeeze it more until the pus is out the pore
Til’ the pus is out the pore, till the pus is out the pore
The pimple will be removed once the pus is out the pore.
Popping pimples on my face, like a pre-teen
When I don’t wash I break out, it’s a routine
Salicylic on my face, but it ain’t worth spit
Can’t go out until I finally pop my big zit
Got a big zit, got a big zit
No no no no Can’t go out until I finally pop my big zit
Got a big zit, got a big zit
No no no no Can’t go out until I finally pop my big zit
It’s that inherited gene, giving you yo acne
Giving you yo’ acne, giving you yo’ acne
Thanks to mom and dad’s face, you’ve got crippling acne
You’ve got crippling acne, you’ve got crippling acne
Eff My Life, I’ve got pre-teen acne, I’ve got pre-teen acne, I’ve got pre-teen acne
Eff My Life, why am I so pimply, why am I so pimply? Why am I so pimply?
Popping pimples on my face, like a pre-teen
When I don’t wash I break out, it’s a routine
Salicylic on my face, but it ain’t worth spit
Can’t go out until I finally pop my big zit
Got a big zit, got a big zit
No no no no Can’t go out until I finally pop my big zit
Got a big zit, got a big zit
No no no no Can’t go out until I finally pop my big zit
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8. |
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9. |
||||
This kitten’s trying too hard to be freaky
I never thought I’d say no to nudity
I notice that she’s desperate
That shoulda been my first hint
You know that I got standards
But just not on the weekends
If you want the good shit
Don’t settle for the drunk chicks
You might get a girl who likes it weird
I can’t fake it, fake it, fake no more
It’s never felt like, felt like this before
Didn’t think those muscles could get sore
Time to show you, show you out the door
Ow
Not so hard
Teeth are bad
So are whips
Watch me squirm, when I lose, when I lose my hard
on so rough shoulda brought me a bodyguard
I notice what she’s wearing
She notices me staring
There’s no way she expects me
To eat edible undies
Pretty sure she’s worn them, from
the club to the bedroom
Oh my gad they’re melted on from sweat
I can’t fake it, fake it, fake no more
It’s never felt like, felt like this before
Didn’t think those muscles could get sore
Time to show you, show you out the door
Ow
Not so hard
Teeth are bad
So are whips
It’s almost midnight, she ain’t stopping
Keep on faking till she’s sleepy
If you feel bad cause she’s too freaky
Keep on faking till she’s sleepy
It’s almost midnight, she ain’t stopping
Keep on faking till she’s sleepy
If she’s too rough, and she’s creepy
Keep on faking till she’s sleepy
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10. |
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11. |
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12. |
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I know I’m late
To our big date
But can’t you see
Skyrim needs me
I’m almost done, how else can I explain
Let me save this game
I cast a spell on me, spell on me
Plus five to strength and my agility, agility
But only stacks if I’m with my party, my party
So let me finish one more dungeon raid and I’ll save
Do we have to leave now?
Now we need to take that bridge
Bridge traffic is a pain
Paint the target red
Reservations aren’t til six
Six bogeys on my tail
Tails we stay, heads…we’ll see
See that sniper? Now just aim!
Just let me save this game
I know I’m late
To our big date
But can’t you see
My Sims need me
I’m almost done, how else can I explain
Let me save this game
Just let him save this game
She wants to strangle me, strangle me
But if I leave who’s gonna drive the jeep, drive the jeep?
Sam always drives past all the enemies, enemies
So let me finish up my killing spree, and we’ll leave
I just leveled up now
Now we gotta try this gun!
Gonna need another ten
10 killstreak, I’m on a run!
Run away she’s got a knife!
Knife kills are too easy
Baby please, don’t kill me
Man, what a ‘ball and chain’
Just let me save this game
I know I’m late
To our big date
But can’t you see
Diablo 3
I can’t leave now, how else can I explain
If I leave this game,
Who’s gonna bring the pain?
Just let him save this game
Just let me save this game
I know I’m late
To our big date
But can’t you see
My games need me
Your friends all think, I’m mildly insane
Let me save this game
Just let me save this game
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Jenton Fremont
Jenton maintains a strong presence on YouTube, with 4500 subscribers, over 1.8 MILLION video views, and with viral hits like his 'Beyonce - If I Were a Boy' parody that has gotten over 200,000 hits on YouTube.
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