I wish I’d sing like Coldplay
With their sexy British accents
It’s all, mellow, yellow, ello

Or maybe be John Mayer with his panty wetting songs
All his girlfriend’s bodies’ are a wonderland

But I think one thing would steal the show
If I was harder, better, faster, stronger
Make my songs a lot less longer
Revealed that I’m a sex monger
That means I peddle in flesh

I’m tryin to find my sound
Looking all around
Breaking new ground
Maybe I will astound
Instead of ABC
How about Do re mi
No more lazy
Gotta find my crazy

A lotta emo songwriters when they run out of words
They go, ooh woah oh, ooh woah oh

A lot of urban hip-hop likes to make up phrases
Like three alarm chili all over them bitches faces
Smear it all up and down their faces

I’m tryin to find my sound
Looking all around
Breaking new ground
Maybe I will astound
Instead of ABC
How about Do re mi
No more lazy
Gotta find my crazy

Have you ever noticed
Guitarists and singers are chick magnets
Well then, I must be doing something wrong
Cause I’m getting nothing from these songs
I’m tryin to find my sound
Looking all around
Breaking new ground
Maybe I’ll be profound
Instead of ABC
How about Do re mi
No more lazy
Gotta find my crazy

I’m tryin to find my sound
Looking all around
Breaking new ground
Maybe I will dumbfound
Instead of Ah beh ceh
No hablo Ingles
No more lazy
Gotta find my crazy